Day 6

Cornhugging Children of the Corn

Field of Dreams.  That was today's destination.  Having finally sighted corn, it was time to immerse ourselves in it.  
Onlookers gazed in fascination as the crazy Californians did unmentionable things with corn....wait, it's not what you think. 


On the very field that dramatically featured baseball players emerging from fields of corn, Mutt N Mutter attempted to duplicate the same scene....with their Harleys.  The site managers were not quite on board with that idea, though, and we therefore had to satisfy ourselves with replicating the scene to the best of our ability.  You be the judge of how well we did.  

After getting our fill of corn, it was time to go consume some.  Lunch was being served at Breitling's, a highly regarded Iowa family restaurant with a sterling reputation for quality.  It also happens to sit at the highest point in the state,  which means the restaurant sits on land that is approximately 7 1/2 inches higher than the Mississippi River.  Apparently the family has not always gotten along, based on the corridors which are lined with newspaper clippings detailing each time the facility has burned down.  Judging by the frequency with which such events seems to have occurred, we felt compelled to wolf our dinner (as the mid-day meal is known in these parts) down as quickly as possible lest another blaze break out in mid-meal.  Fully expecting a fire extinguisher to be served along with the entre, we were a bit disappointed to find only asbestos napkins.  

We hurried out of Breitling's before the first sign of smoke and made our way back to the iron steeds in search of......a fairy......no, wait.....a ferry.  (It's been a very confusing day).  Having been told that we could cross the Mississippi River into Wisconsin by watercraft rather than by bridge, we decided that it was a no brainer - the ferry was a must.  Also, there was no bridege.

Mark attempts his own Blessing of the Bikes as his
 boots smolder on the 140 degree deck.

It seemed like a good idea....until we rolled on board and found that the deck was constructed of solid steel.  Steel that had spent the entire day absorbing the heat of the blazing sun, resulting in a reflection of warmth that had us regarding the deck of the ferry in somewhat the same way that pancakes regard the griddle.  The captain informed us that they had measured the temperature with a surface thermometer and found the steel to be a mere 140 degrees.  Barely enough to cook (American) bacon (not that goofy round stuff, eh?)  Luckily it was only a ten minute ride, but we did manage to accomplish the rare feat of flat spotting our tires without having even been in motion.  


Having reached Wisconsin, we confirmed that global warming has indeed taken effect.  Impossibly, the Badger State was even warmer than Iowa.  In fact, it was so warm that, as roadglide.org forum member CheesyRider stated, "our biggest motorcycle wreck fear was “What if we get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”  Fortunately that did not occur and we finally completed our circuit, arriving back at Road Glide central, completing yet another day of exciting adventure in the midwest.  


Things we learned today:

• It is possible to consume (and savor) a one-hour lunch in a mere four minutes.
• One has adjusted to the hot conditions when the bank thermometer reads 104 degrees and you regard it as too low.
• Sunburned Canadians small like maple-glazed ham.

Days 4 & 5

The howls from the readership have been heard.  You want your blog posts!  Sorry to have missed a Day 4 post, but there has been entirely too much fun to have, too many old friendships to renew and too many new friendships to establish.  Thus, a combined Day 4 and Day 5 summary.  

Day 4 was spent gathering the freshly fed KC crew and zipping northward up the highway in search of Iowa.  In search of the greatest concentration of corn anywhere.  After a run of a couple of hours, the crew pulled into a gas station, in search of the elusive 91 octane.  It seems that the American midwest has decided to ditch the all-important Harley fuel, replacing it with corn.  A noble, yet entirely misguided approach.  It's the motorcycle equivalent of feeding tofu to Michael Phelps.  Having found such a station, the rough, tough bikers on their rumbling, imposing Harleys, pulled in as fascinated onlookers gawked at the awesome display of chrome, thunder, and leather.  Whereupon two of the nine riders promptly rolled their rumbling imposing Harleys on their sides.  Not bad - at least 75% of the  crew managed to stay upright - including, of course, Mutt & Mutter.  This dubious achievement was promptly recognized by awarding the Shark Tooth of Shame to the recipients.  

Shrug and Mrs Chainsaw display the highly coveted Shark Tooth of Shame

Having recovered from this supreme display of motorcyling skill, the group settled in to get some cool refreshing liquids, whereupon Mark was approached by a woman who introduced herself by declaring her wish to allow to smell his..........pipe.  Seems his tobacco reminded her of a special someone - probably another highly skilled rider.  

You want to smell what?????

Eventually the group made its way to Le Claire, Iowa where over 130 fellow Road Glide pilots were pulling in to settle into their encampments.  Le Claire is a beautiful small town, some might even refer to it as bucolic, for that is how small, charming towns are described.  Apparently bucolic also means town overrun with bugs.  To say that the bugs are thick might be a bit of an understatement.  The bugs are so thick that the hotel staff literally scoops the bugs off of the sidewalk in the morning.  As proof, the following photos are offered:

Those are may flies, which confuses us greatly, as May passed over six weeks ago.  The bugs appear to be making up for lost time.  Does this bother us?  Not in the least.  You know those motorcycle people - the more bugs, the better!  

Things we learned these past two days:

• We are not running out of corn anytime soon.
• The overly exaggerated Canadian use of the term "ay?" is in fact NOT overly exaggerated.
• The human body is physically capable of of sweating out twice the amount of liquids taken in.
• Chicks dig pipes.